Effects of Chemotherapy; hair loss

I awake to "relieve myself" early this Friday morning to the reality of a cold neck & the bedtime accessory of a "night cap". Oh, I think that's a beverage...I mean a "sleep cap". a sleep cap; something I didn't know exhisted until a few weeks ago. Reality hits as crawl back into my warm bed; my hair is gone.

Tim holds me tight as the tears again begin to fall and I whisper to him that I couldn't do this without him. Another gift from the Lord is his love, care & support.

I open God's word to be refreshed once again and read

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV

This; yet another "mile-marker" in the journey....
Monday morning I realized my hair was starting to fall out; just like they said and by yesterday morning it was just coming out by the dozens.
God know the number of hairs on our head; so I will trust in Him.
As we start our day; Tim prays with me as the tears fall & encourages me that today is probably "the day" to shave.  I laugh amid my tears and tell him I'll be able to get ready to go anywhere faster with a wig!!

I call to confirm an appointment with Stephanie after double checking that my "side kick" can be there for emotional support. Tim offered to go with me but I know that would be more difficult for both of us. Side kick sister will be there & I start my day. I didn't know that shampooing, blow-drying, & styling could bring on such deep emotions. But when one knows it's the last time for 6+ months; it can bring tears.
God seemed to prompt friends to pray as I received texts & messages more than days previous...how did they know this was a difficult day!?!

My OH sister texts with confirmation of her prayers for the day. I pick up the phone to call her & words become difficult as we cry together. I keep telling myself that "I'm gonna be strong; God is giving me what it takes for each step of the way.". But this is a tough one.... So much of who we are/what we look like comes from those tiny folicles that make up a style on top our head. We spend time & money to get it just right daily.
I wonder...do I spend time & money to get my "heart" just right for God's kingdom???

I haven't seen OH "side kick" sister since July even though she has supported me in countless ways during surgery & post-op. But this day; I wish in my heart that I she would be near. I would never say it...but God knows our inner most heart!

I head out for yet another blessing from the Lord; a pre-natal doctor visit with our DIL who will bring us #11 end of May. The "thump thump" of this baby's heart beat brought great Joy to this Grammy's heart as well as the other two generations in the room! God is gracious to me!

The hour has come & I must head to Rothsville for my 4pm appt...off we go; me & the Lord.  Because of His grace & faithfulness "I go in the strength of the Lord".

In the day when I cried out, You answered me,  And  made me bold  with  strength in my soul. Psalm 138:3
I arrive to "Classic Images" the home of wigs & emotion for me.  Here is where I met Stephanie some weeks ago. She knows full well the journey of cancer when 3+ years ago: as a young mother of three she faced chemo & surgery. Today she's a survivor!!  She shared with  me of many of the things the Lord taught her thru her journey. One was opening the "wig" division of her hair salon. Here; she weekly ministers to those going thru hair loss for countless reasons. God has given her a gift to gently walk one thru the difficult steps in this part of the journey.


My new friend & fellow survivor!


From my first visit with her; I felt akin.  She is so kind, gentle & understanding to one's situation. I felt like I made a new friend.  So, this Thursday afternoon as I approach her door the tears again begin to flow as I think of her grace to include the "head shaving" in the purchase of a wig.

I walk inside to find standing my Ohio "side kick" sister; and immediately I fall into the embrace of both my sisters in a huge puddle of tears. God knew we all needed to share this & Bev drove the 6 hours that day to "share my pain". God did know my inner most heart and promoted hers as well.  She was already on the road this morning when we spoke.

Amazing support from my sisters...


Yes, any remaining hair is gone now and...
Yes, wigs; scarves & hats will adorn and accessorize the outfit for each day.  I might be blonde, short or long, I might be brunette...You might not find me looking the same. But my heart and motivation to serve & honor my Savior in this journey of cancer will remain the foremost objective.

As I told each of the local grandchildren when I individually showed them "hairless Grammy"..."it's still me! And I love you the same regardless of my head dress".  As a friend encouraged me, Its your eyes that are the window to your heart, not your hair; look inside to what God is doing in the heart of another person.

Thanks for taking the time to visit with me today...