Today, Wednesday Dec 28, marks the halfway mark for my chemo treatments.
This morning as I awoke two songs played on the christian radio station that blessed my soul, one that helped name this blog; it was fitting that the Lord blessed me in such a way this cold December morning!
"Your name is a strong and mighty tower,
Your name is a shelter like no other...
Your name; let the nations sing it louder...
Nothing has the power to save...
Like YOUR Name."
I was reminded of the Name of my Saviour, that alone has power to strengthen, save..."that at the name of Jesus, every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess, that He is Lord."
This Christmas we were reminded...
31And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. 32He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: Luke 1:31, 32
I will rest in the power of His Name today...
The other song reminded me again to trust in Him.
"I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain,
But I will trust YOU, no matter what!"
I'm not good a remembering artists and the names of their songs, to give them due credit, so this morning, I pray God's blessing on both of these whom God used their words to encourge this heart headed into chemo.
My prayer for today is that I would be a testimony to someone there at LGH in the Infusion Room. (next time I'll be back at Health Campus). That someone would see Jesus, thru this Cancer Journey we are on.
Thanks for stopping by to visit and for those who have left comments in recent weeks, they SO bless & encourage me. Thanks for your faithful prayers, love & support. I am blessed and encouraged by each of you. Happy New Year and many blessings to you & yours from our Strong Tower, Jesus, Himself...
Proverbs 18:10
The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.
Today, I'll find safety in the name of the Lord!!!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
December 14, 2011...a new grandson
Another gift to add to my list of thanks...
Our 10th grandchild was born this day, December 14, 2011...a son; "Lincoln Christopher" born to Chris & Laura, in Virginia. What delight to hear of his birth & recieve pictures via email.
But what even more of a blessing was the gift God gave to me to travel with Tim before Lincoln was 2 days old. With fatique, etc. from chemo I has asked the Lord many times to be able to travel and help Laura a bit after baby's birth. Well, God be praised, He gave me energy & strength for the journey as well as the task at hand.
What joy to meet Lincoln and spend time with the rest of the family. The priviledge of being able to help, cook & clean when Laura was recouperating from baby Lincoln's birth; as well as play games with the older grandchildren, make candy houses, snuggle and read to big brother, Kohler who is now 18 months old.
We are thankful for...
-Lincoln's safe and healthy arrival,
-for the joy of watching this family adjust and love on their new baby brother,
-the priviledge of gathering together to worship at their wonderful church this Christmas season,
-the blessing of having my parents travel to see their new great-grandson a few days later so I could extend my stay and my help to Laura.
-the fun of traveling home with them a few days after Tim headed back to work.
Our 10th grandchild was born this day, December 14, 2011...a son; "Lincoln Christopher" born to Chris & Laura, in Virginia. What delight to hear of his birth & recieve pictures via email.
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| Just minutes after his birth... |
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| Lincoln meets the rest of the family. |
But what even more of a blessing was the gift God gave to me to travel with Tim before Lincoln was 2 days old. With fatique, etc. from chemo I has asked the Lord many times to be able to travel and help Laura a bit after baby's birth. Well, God be praised, He gave me energy & strength for the journey as well as the task at hand.
What joy to meet Lincoln and spend time with the rest of the family. The priviledge of being able to help, cook & clean when Laura was recouperating from baby Lincoln's birth; as well as play games with the older grandchildren, make candy houses, snuggle and read to big brother, Kohler who is now 18 months old.
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| Add caption |
We are thankful for...
-Lincoln's safe and healthy arrival,
-for the joy of watching this family adjust and love on their new baby brother,
-the priviledge of gathering together to worship at their wonderful church this Christmas season,
-the blessing of having my parents travel to see their new great-grandson a few days later so I could extend my stay and my help to Laura.
-the fun of traveling home with them a few days after Tim headed back to work.
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| Great Grandma Garber meets Lincoln |
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| Oh the sweetness of a newborn grandchild... |
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Discouragement...
Some days discouragement starts to set in. We all have it from time to time. I look in the mirror; rub my nearly shinny bald head and ask Tim if this is really happening to us. Somedays it's a bit surreal. Somedays I find it hard to believe we are in the midst of chemotherapy & a cancer diagnosis.
Early this morning I was reading of part of Peter's journey. You'll remember it well...
Matthew 14
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:25-31 NIV)
I thought about Peter's faith to rise above the seeming impossible (walk on water) as long as he had his eyes on JESUS...he could do what God asked...this time walk on water.
I reflected on my own journey in the last 3 months. I have all the strength & courage I need for each step as long as my eyes are on Jesus. But as soon as I take my eyes, my focus, dependence off Him, its discouragement for me.
I desperately need Him.
I need to be in His presence, spending time in His Word, being refreshed for the journey...why so I can face each day with the motivation He has planned for me....for His glory.
Early this morning I was reading of part of Peter's journey. You'll remember it well...
Matthew 14
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:25-31 NIV)
I thought about Peter's faith to rise above the seeming impossible (walk on water) as long as he had his eyes on JESUS...he could do what God asked...this time walk on water.
I reflected on my own journey in the last 3 months. I have all the strength & courage I need for each step as long as my eyes are on Jesus. But as soon as I take my eyes, my focus, dependence off Him, its discouragement for me.
I desperately need Him.
I need to be in His presence, spending time in His Word, being refreshed for the journey...why so I can face each day with the motivation He has planned for me....for His glory.
aftermath...2 down; 4 to go...
It's a few days following my second treatment and some of the same effects have come to invade my body that were present the first time around. This round; my GOOD Oncologist, whom I am blessed to be in the care of, prescribed some additional meds for anti-nausea. They seem to be helping and although I find it difficult to actually eat much of anything, I am able to keep food down. I Praise the Lord for that!!! These small things are such gifts from my Heavenly Father. After day 3, my appetite begins to resume and "comfort foods" appeal and taste good! Yet, another gift from the Lord.
The fatigue remains, however, so the first week, my body aches, and the lazy boy again is my close friend! Two to three hour naps are just part of the day. But as I get closer to Day 10, I regain a bit more energy...
My hands & feet are often cold, yet, another effect of chemotherapy. Dr. O says, "snow shoveling is out for me this year". Sorry, Tim but it's you and the snow blower when the snow flurries come and the temperatures drop.
But all in all, I am THANKFUL for so many things...
--two down and four to go; before year end, we'll be half way!
--the great care of my Oncologist and chemo nurses!
--the loving support of both our families & our children.
--my wigs to dress up any occasion!
--hats, scarves and "headdresses" to warm my head!
--the ability to keep food down amid nausea.
--the joy and laughter of our grandchildren.
--Christmas music that warms our home!
--the Word of God; which encourages me & warms me like a blanket.
--the loving care of my good husband!!
--tonight's sunset!
--Christmas pictures & greetings from many of you in my mailbox!
--I could go on and on...
--Including a visit from these two at the SAME time...
The fatigue remains, however, so the first week, my body aches, and the lazy boy again is my close friend! Two to three hour naps are just part of the day. But as I get closer to Day 10, I regain a bit more energy...
My hands & feet are often cold, yet, another effect of chemotherapy. Dr. O says, "snow shoveling is out for me this year". Sorry, Tim but it's you and the snow blower when the snow flurries come and the temperatures drop.
But all in all, I am THANKFUL for so many things...
--two down and four to go; before year end, we'll be half way!
--the great care of my Oncologist and chemo nurses!
--the loving support of both our families & our children.
--my wigs to dress up any occasion!
--hats, scarves and "headdresses" to warm my head!
--the ability to keep food down amid nausea.
--the joy and laughter of our grandchildren.
--Christmas music that warms our home!
--the Word of God; which encourages me & warms me like a blanket.
--the loving care of my good husband!!
--tonight's sunset!
--Christmas pictures & greetings from many of you in my mailbox!
--I could go on and on...
--Including a visit from these two at the SAME time...
God has been good to me!
Another survivor!
A few days after having my head shaved I had a visit from my faraway cousin, Jewel. She & her good husband live in Vancouver, BC, Canada. Two years ago, Jewel, was diagnosed with "Ovarian Cancer". She also had a hysterectomy; as well as chemo & radiation. (Radiation is common treatment in Canada).
Today, Jewel has a beautiful head of dark hair, excellent blood results (CA125) and is a Survivor! To God be the glory, He has work for her here on earth! Her strength has returned and she looks beautifully radiant. She visited me this afternoon to bring encouragement and blessing! What a joy it was to spend time with her. She gave lots of suggestions as well as an "Encouragement NIV Bible". She has taught me much thru the years, although I rarely have the blessing of her presence due to the miles that separate us. But, this visit was especially meaningful as we now share the comradery of this dreadful disease.
Today, Jewel has a beautiful head of dark hair, excellent blood results (CA125) and is a Survivor! To God be the glory, He has work for her here on earth! Her strength has returned and she looks beautifully radiant. She visited me this afternoon to bring encouragement and blessing! What a joy it was to spend time with her. She gave lots of suggestions as well as an "Encouragement NIV Bible". She has taught me much thru the years, although I rarely have the blessing of her presence due to the miles that separate us. But, this visit was especially meaningful as we now share the comradery of this dreadful disease.
Jewel as well, lost her hair, she learned alot during that time and showed me some fun ways to "cover my bald head". Her visit was very timely and such a rich blessing to me!
2nd Treatment December 7, 2011
God in His grace to me; healed my body of the dreadful cough & chest cold I was suffering with after my first treatment just before the second. Tuesday I began to feel good as new and Wednesday was my treatment.
True to the first, Wed, 12-7 was another rainy day...if I have my guess it will rain again on Dec. 28 when I have my next treatment or maybe it will SNOW!
There were many blessings in this day, but one was to spend some time with my dear friend, Linda who is also undergoing chemo. Linda heads weekly to the Infusion Room at the Health Campus for her chemo. I mentioned her before in my blog as she has been such an encouragement to me in this journey. Her attitude and heart for the Lord is evident to all who know her. She is such a blessing to me! Today, was special in that we got to have our treatments at the same time; we reserved chairs; side by side and there we "hooked up" for some chemo drugs and conversation. Some of my pre-meds make me sleepy so I missed some of my time with her, but her radiance flowed over to my chair even while I slept. There we sat with our wigs on looking quite snazzy for a treatment day. Mine was shed for another "headdress" as the day pressed on to 8 hours once again. I regret that we didn't get a picture taken of us that day.
I had some vein trouble this time, so I will have a "port" put in for my next treatment. Many chemo patients had a port for easy access for blood draws and chemo infusion. I'll have this day surgery on Dec. 22. It's not a big deal, just out-patient and back home to rest for a few hours then on to enjoy Christ's Birthday with our families.
I had some wonderful visitors, spent some time sleeping, listening to Bible reading audibly and enjoyed meeting some new folks.
You can see I am well taken care of my these and other dear ones...hot neck roll, homemade chicken pot pie and lots of love...
Psalms 46:1
"God is my refuge and strength; a present help in time of trouble."
This day was also a chemo treatment day for my friend, Mim. The evening after is usually a decent one for both of us; so Tim & I gathered at Ray & Mim's home with some of their family & friends.
There we were laughing, hugging in our new "do". Both have lost our hair and have chosen the hair styles to suit us for the next 6+ months.
It was great therapy for both to be together again. We tried on each others wigs and learned some new wraps for "hats". I am blessed by her friendship and pray for her battle daily. God has a plan for both of our lives. We will continue to trust in Him as we fight this cancer with chemo.
True to the first, Wed, 12-7 was another rainy day...if I have my guess it will rain again on Dec. 28 when I have my next treatment or maybe it will SNOW!
There were many blessings in this day, but one was to spend some time with my dear friend, Linda who is also undergoing chemo. Linda heads weekly to the Infusion Room at the Health Campus for her chemo. I mentioned her before in my blog as she has been such an encouragement to me in this journey. Her attitude and heart for the Lord is evident to all who know her. She is such a blessing to me! Today, was special in that we got to have our treatments at the same time; we reserved chairs; side by side and there we "hooked up" for some chemo drugs and conversation. Some of my pre-meds make me sleepy so I missed some of my time with her, but her radiance flowed over to my chair even while I slept. There we sat with our wigs on looking quite snazzy for a treatment day. Mine was shed for another "headdress" as the day pressed on to 8 hours once again. I regret that we didn't get a picture taken of us that day.
I had some vein trouble this time, so I will have a "port" put in for my next treatment. Many chemo patients had a port for easy access for blood draws and chemo infusion. I'll have this day surgery on Dec. 22. It's not a big deal, just out-patient and back home to rest for a few hours then on to enjoy Christ's Birthday with our families.
I had some wonderful visitors, spent some time sleeping, listening to Bible reading audibly and enjoyed meeting some new folks.
"God is my refuge and strength; a present help in time of trouble."
This day was also a chemo treatment day for my friend, Mim. The evening after is usually a decent one for both of us; so Tim & I gathered at Ray & Mim's home with some of their family & friends.
There we were laughing, hugging in our new "do". Both have lost our hair and have chosen the hair styles to suit us for the next 6+ months.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Effects of Chemotherapy; hair loss
I awake to "relieve myself" early this Friday morning to the reality of a cold neck & the bedtime accessory of a "night cap". Oh, I think that's a beverage...I mean a "sleep cap". a sleep cap; something I didn't know exhisted until a few weeks ago. Reality hits as crawl back into my warm bed; my hair is gone.
Tim holds me tight as the tears again begin to fall and I whisper to him that I couldn't do this without him. Another gift from the Lord is his love, care & support.
I open God's word to be refreshed once again and read
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV
This; yet another "mile-marker" in the journey....
Monday morning I realized my hair was starting to fall out; just like they said and by yesterday morning it was just coming out by the dozens.
God know the number of hairs on our head; so I will trust in Him.
As we start our day; Tim prays with me as the tears fall & encourages me that today is probably "the day" to shave. I laugh amid my tears and tell him I'll be able to get ready to go anywhere faster with a wig!!
I call to confirm an appointment with Stephanie after double checking that my "side kick" can be there for emotional support. Tim offered to go with me but I know that would be more difficult for both of us. Side kick sister will be there & I start my day. I didn't know that shampooing, blow-drying, & styling could bring on such deep emotions. But when one knows it's the last time for 6+ months; it can bring tears.
God seemed to prompt friends to pray as I received texts & messages more than days previous...how did they know this was a difficult day!?!
My OH sister texts with confirmation of her prayers for the day. I pick up the phone to call her & words become difficult as we cry together. I keep telling myself that "I'm gonna be strong; God is giving me what it takes for each step of the way.". But this is a tough one.... So much of who we are/what we look like comes from those tiny folicles that make up a style on top our head. We spend time & money to get it just right daily.
I wonder...do I spend time & money to get my "heart" just right for God's kingdom???
I haven't seen OH "side kick" sister since July even though she has supported me in countless ways during surgery & post-op. But this day; I wish in my heart that I she would be near. I would never say it...but God knows our inner most heart!
I head out for yet another blessing from the Lord; a pre-natal doctor visit with our DIL who will bring us #11 end of May. The "thump thump" of this baby's heart beat brought great Joy to this Grammy's heart as well as the other two generations in the room! God is gracious to me!
The hour has come & I must head to Rothsville for my 4pm appt...off we go; me & the Lord. Because of His grace & faithfulness "I go in the strength of the Lord".
In the day when I cried out, You answered me, And made me bold with strength in my soul. Psalm 138:3
I arrive to "Classic Images" the home of wigs & emotion for me. Here is where I met Stephanie some weeks ago. She knows full well the journey of cancer when 3+ years ago: as a young mother of three she faced chemo & surgery. Today she's a survivor!! She shared with me of many of the things the Lord taught her thru her journey. One was opening the "wig" division of her hair salon. Here; she weekly ministers to those going thru hair loss for countless reasons. God has given her a gift to gently walk one thru the difficult steps in this part of the journey.
From my first visit with her; I felt akin. She is so kind, gentle & understanding to one's situation. I felt like I made a new friend. So, this Thursday afternoon as I approach her door the tears again begin to flow as I think of her grace to include the "head shaving" in the purchase of a wig.
I walk inside to find standing my Ohio "side kick" sister; and immediately I fall into the embrace of both my sisters in a huge puddle of tears. God knew we all needed to share this & Bev drove the 6 hours that day to "share my pain". God did know my inner most heart and promoted hers as well. She was already on the road this morning when we spoke.
Yes, any remaining hair is gone now and...
Yes, wigs; scarves & hats will adorn and accessorize the outfit for each day. I might be blonde, short or long, I might be brunette...You might not find me looking the same. But my heart and motivation to serve & honor my Savior in this journey of cancer will remain the foremost objective.
As I told each of the local grandchildren when I individually showed them "hairless Grammy"..."it's still me! And I love you the same regardless of my head dress". As a friend encouraged me, Its your eyes that are the window to your heart, not your hair; look inside to what God is doing in the heart of another person.
Thanks for taking the time to visit with me today...
Tim holds me tight as the tears again begin to fall and I whisper to him that I couldn't do this without him. Another gift from the Lord is his love, care & support.
I open God's word to be refreshed once again and read
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV
This; yet another "mile-marker" in the journey....
Monday morning I realized my hair was starting to fall out; just like they said and by yesterday morning it was just coming out by the dozens.
God know the number of hairs on our head; so I will trust in Him.
As we start our day; Tim prays with me as the tears fall & encourages me that today is probably "the day" to shave. I laugh amid my tears and tell him I'll be able to get ready to go anywhere faster with a wig!!
I call to confirm an appointment with Stephanie after double checking that my "side kick" can be there for emotional support. Tim offered to go with me but I know that would be more difficult for both of us. Side kick sister will be there & I start my day. I didn't know that shampooing, blow-drying, & styling could bring on such deep emotions. But when one knows it's the last time for 6+ months; it can bring tears.
God seemed to prompt friends to pray as I received texts & messages more than days previous...how did they know this was a difficult day!?!
My OH sister texts with confirmation of her prayers for the day. I pick up the phone to call her & words become difficult as we cry together. I keep telling myself that "I'm gonna be strong; God is giving me what it takes for each step of the way.". But this is a tough one.... So much of who we are/what we look like comes from those tiny folicles that make up a style on top our head. We spend time & money to get it just right daily.
I wonder...do I spend time & money to get my "heart" just right for God's kingdom???
I haven't seen OH "side kick" sister since July even though she has supported me in countless ways during surgery & post-op. But this day; I wish in my heart that I she would be near. I would never say it...but God knows our inner most heart!
I head out for yet another blessing from the Lord; a pre-natal doctor visit with our DIL who will bring us #11 end of May. The "thump thump" of this baby's heart beat brought great Joy to this Grammy's heart as well as the other two generations in the room! God is gracious to me!
The hour has come & I must head to Rothsville for my 4pm appt...off we go; me & the Lord. Because of His grace & faithfulness "I go in the strength of the Lord".
In the day when I cried out, You answered me, And made me bold with strength in my soul. Psalm 138:3
I arrive to "Classic Images" the home of wigs & emotion for me. Here is where I met Stephanie some weeks ago. She knows full well the journey of cancer when 3+ years ago: as a young mother of three she faced chemo & surgery. Today she's a survivor!! She shared with me of many of the things the Lord taught her thru her journey. One was opening the "wig" division of her hair salon. Here; she weekly ministers to those going thru hair loss for countless reasons. God has given her a gift to gently walk one thru the difficult steps in this part of the journey.
 |
| My new friend & fellow survivor! |
From my first visit with her; I felt akin. She is so kind, gentle & understanding to one's situation. I felt like I made a new friend. So, this Thursday afternoon as I approach her door the tears again begin to flow as I think of her grace to include the "head shaving" in the purchase of a wig.
I walk inside to find standing my Ohio "side kick" sister; and immediately I fall into the embrace of both my sisters in a huge puddle of tears. God knew we all needed to share this & Bev drove the 6 hours that day to "share my pain". God did know my inner most heart and promoted hers as well. She was already on the road this morning when we spoke.
 |
| Amazing support from my sisters... |
Yes, any remaining hair is gone now and...
Yes, wigs; scarves & hats will adorn and accessorize the outfit for each day. I might be blonde, short or long, I might be brunette...You might not find me looking the same. But my heart and motivation to serve & honor my Savior in this journey of cancer will remain the foremost objective.
As I told each of the local grandchildren when I individually showed them "hairless Grammy"..."it's still me! And I love you the same regardless of my head dress". As a friend encouraged me, Its your eyes that are the window to your heart, not your hair; look inside to what God is doing in the heart of another person.
Thanks for taking the time to visit with me today...
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Early Christmas Preperations...Cookie Day
They told me I would have some good days before each treatment; each round and I am so thankful I am.
No, I don't have all my normal energy, but I'm thankful for what I have. I have spent the last few days
"working ahead" as my dear mother would call it. Christmas is just days away and my next chemo treatment is December 7. I'll be "down" for about a week following that. Our new grandbaby is due in VA on the 15th. I continue to ask God for strength to help Laura and family after she delivers. and yes, that takes us almost to Christmas day...so this mother/grammy has got to get some things done.
Yesterday was "cookie day" as we call it in Hooberville. my local daughters & grandchildren gathered in the morning for a day of fun, play and much baking. Two ovens produced heat most of the day while we rolled, dipped and decorated. This is an annual event for us that we all anticpate with joy. This year we baked some of the 14 varieties ahead to savor some "grammy energy". Beauty abounds as flavors create an amazing aroma in the house. Children play, babies sleep (a little), and conversations abound.
No, I don't have all my normal energy, but I'm thankful for what I have. I have spent the last few days
"working ahead" as my dear mother would call it. Christmas is just days away and my next chemo treatment is December 7. I'll be "down" for about a week following that. Our new grandbaby is due in VA on the 15th. I continue to ask God for strength to help Laura and family after she delivers. and yes, that takes us almost to Christmas day...so this mother/grammy has got to get some things done.
Yesterday was "cookie day" as we call it in Hooberville. my local daughters & grandchildren gathered in the morning for a day of fun, play and much baking. Two ovens produced heat most of the day while we rolled, dipped and decorated. This is an annual event for us that we all anticpate with joy. This year we baked some of the 14 varieties ahead to savor some "grammy energy". Beauty abounds as flavors create an amazing aroma in the house. Children play, babies sleep (a little), and conversations abound.
Abby & Elizabeth...hiding...
Yum!
Trays of goodness made for neighbors, friends, gatherings & shut-ins. Another way to share Christ's love this Christmas! My heart is full after these hours spent with some I love the most. The joy of watching these two 5 year olds, and one 4 year old "help" is a treat for me. Tim agrees that "I did too much" today, but he also agrees with me that "it was worth it". Off to nap I go, to regain some strength for the coming week.
Thanksgiving 2011
The blessings abound this Thanksgiving season...
God in His faithfulness has given me strength & energy to enjoy this week just 10 days after my first treatment. Our children spent the day with the "other families" and we spent an intimate Thanksgiving day with my wonderful folks at a beautiful table set for four. It was wonderful to laugh, eat and play a few games of "hearts" with these two that have more energy than most late 70 year olds. Actually they have more energy than most 50+ years olds. The turkey & trimmings were most delicious and the followship; as always, a RICH blessing!
I spent most of this weekend (aside from a nap here and there) preparing for our children & grandchildren to come for "our" Thanksgiving on sunday night. It was sheer delight to be able to cook for those I love so dearly for the first time in the months since my surgery. I had the blessing of being in church and worshiping with other believers at CFC for the first time since chemo. It brought joy to my heart to hear the music and message. (Even though my voice is still horse; this cold lingers for TOO long). I was thrilled to be able to attend and soak in God's richness in our local fellowship.
Sunday evening the joy and laughter arrived as our three local children and 5 local grandchildren arrived for dinner. The table with full with 4 generations as Tim's folks joined the celebration of Thanks! It truely was a gift from the Lord that I had energy to prepare and enjoy! Tim & I had all day saturday to cook & nap SO Sunday was a delight to both of us. and yes, everybody brought something to add to the meal!
As we rounded the table with individual expressions of thanks; I was again caught in the grace the Lord has extended to us during this season of life....things often taken for granted like...
- the good care of physicians
- energy to cook a meal
- chemo that kills cancer
- healthy marriages
- support of family
- bonding family relationships
- the encouragement of God's word
- little voices thanking God for healing "grammy"
- the arrival of a new baby this year
- jobs for our good men
- health insurance
- I could go on and on listing the countless things God has graced our lives with. We give Him praise in all this and so much more...
As Tim read from Psalms 100 we all looked around the table to see these words printed on the tablecloth.
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. Psalms 100:4
We have a new tradition, this year. This table cloth, will be used each year, wherever we gather for Thanksgiving and will be signed by each one in attendence. I know the signatures will change as the children grow and learn to write their names. But the challenge remains the same; we have the priviledge of entering into God's presense with thanksgiving & praise; the honor of blessing His name! What a joy... the opportunity to enter His gates and courts with our meager thanks.
I pray your Thanksgiving was one of deep consideration for all God has showered your life with.
God in His faithfulness has given me strength & energy to enjoy this week just 10 days after my first treatment. Our children spent the day with the "other families" and we spent an intimate Thanksgiving day with my wonderful folks at a beautiful table set for four. It was wonderful to laugh, eat and play a few games of "hearts" with these two that have more energy than most late 70 year olds. Actually they have more energy than most 50+ years olds. The turkey & trimmings were most delicious and the followship; as always, a RICH blessing!
I spent most of this weekend (aside from a nap here and there) preparing for our children & grandchildren to come for "our" Thanksgiving on sunday night. It was sheer delight to be able to cook for those I love so dearly for the first time in the months since my surgery. I had the blessing of being in church and worshiping with other believers at CFC for the first time since chemo. It brought joy to my heart to hear the music and message. (Even though my voice is still horse; this cold lingers for TOO long). I was thrilled to be able to attend and soak in God's richness in our local fellowship.
Sunday evening the joy and laughter arrived as our three local children and 5 local grandchildren arrived for dinner. The table with full with 4 generations as Tim's folks joined the celebration of Thanks! It truely was a gift from the Lord that I had energy to prepare and enjoy! Tim & I had all day saturday to cook & nap SO Sunday was a delight to both of us. and yes, everybody brought something to add to the meal!
As we rounded the table with individual expressions of thanks; I was again caught in the grace the Lord has extended to us during this season of life....things often taken for granted like...
- the good care of physicians
- energy to cook a meal
- chemo that kills cancer
- healthy marriages
- support of family
- bonding family relationships
- the encouragement of God's word
- little voices thanking God for healing "grammy"
- the arrival of a new baby this year
- jobs for our good men
- health insurance
- I could go on and on listing the countless things God has graced our lives with. We give Him praise in all this and so much more...
As Tim read from Psalms 100 we all looked around the table to see these words printed on the tablecloth.
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. Psalms 100:4
We have a new tradition, this year. This table cloth, will be used each year, wherever we gather for Thanksgiving and will be signed by each one in attendence. I know the signatures will change as the children grow and learn to write their names. But the challenge remains the same; we have the priviledge of entering into God's presense with thanksgiving & praise; the honor of blessing His name! What a joy... the opportunity to enter His gates and courts with our meager thanks.
I pray your Thanksgiving was one of deep consideration for all God has showered your life with.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Side Effects...
They tell us chemo patients that in the 3 week cycle; you will have 7-10 rough days, then about 5 days to recuperate and then about a week of GOOD days prior to your next treatment. And then the cycle repeats...
And true to their telling, these days have been a bit rough...
But truly I am so thankful for so many things...
Yes, I've been...
-very tired; fatiqued
-nauseated
-some vomiting
-dry mouth & skin
-headache from the anti-nausea meds
-aches like the flu for days on end
-shoots of pain in countless places
and then I contracted a good old head & chest cold to finish off the week.
My sofa & our lazy boy are my best friends....
These are just a few of the common side effects. But, I still have my hair; and enjoy washing, drying and styling it. And my appetite is a bit better...Just some of the many things I have to be thankful for.
Psalms 106:1
Praise the LORD, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.
Today, is Tim's birthday and today I celebrate his life and love for me. What a gift to have such a loving and caring husband during this season of my life. He just seems to know what to get and when for me. He is patient, caring and kind in so many ways. Walking thru life with me...
So, amid the side affects...
today I choose THANKS...
-for my husband to walk thru life with
-for each of our precious children, Drew, Tara, Laura & Clark & their wonderful spouses
-the 9 darling grandchildren who bring me great joy and the one we will meet in a few short weeks.
-my amazing parents & in-laws who, call, come, help, pray and love on us.
-my side-kick sisters who have to know "how the night went..." or the symptoms of the day.
-my brothers & wives who faithfully pray and check in regularily.
-my most wonderful friends who care and pray so faithfully.
-phone calls, texts, emails & cards; which are greatly treasured.
Ephesians 1:16
I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.
-the gift of an early diagnosis...
-my friend who is fighting a 11 year battle with cancer & graciously heads to chemo weekly with a smile and the grace of God in her spirit. She has showed me how to depend on God when the "going gets rough."
-great medical care.
-anti-nausea meds...
-the nurses at chemo.
-friends who brought a smile to my chemo treatment.
-minimual side effects for the first go-round.
-the knowledge that chemo works and the improved health on the other side.
-the Word of God;which continues to encourage my heart..."He is my Strong Tower"
-a book of scripture verses from another family battling cancer.
-food on my table in abundance from those who graciously provide.
-a country where we can have freedom to worship our God.
-the sunrise and the color of the leaves.
-the changing of seasons...
-the scent of a burning candle.
-a warm house.
-the smile of baby Hudson.
-the laughter of children.
Thanks for taking time to visit me here...
And true to their telling, these days have been a bit rough...
But truly I am so thankful for so many things...
Yes, I've been...
-very tired; fatiqued
-nauseated
-some vomiting
-dry mouth & skin
-headache from the anti-nausea meds
-aches like the flu for days on end
-shoots of pain in countless places
and then I contracted a good old head & chest cold to finish off the week.
My sofa & our lazy boy are my best friends....
These are just a few of the common side effects. But, I still have my hair; and enjoy washing, drying and styling it. And my appetite is a bit better...Just some of the many things I have to be thankful for.
Psalms 106:1
Praise the LORD, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.
 |
| hiking Skyline Trail in Nova Scotia |
 |
| Gulf Coast of Florida |
Today, is Tim's birthday and today I celebrate his life and love for me. What a gift to have such a loving and caring husband during this season of my life. He just seems to know what to get and when for me. He is patient, caring and kind in so many ways. Walking thru life with me...
So, amid the side affects...
today I choose THANKS...
-for my husband to walk thru life with
-for each of our precious children, Drew, Tara, Laura & Clark & their wonderful spouses
-the 9 darling grandchildren who bring me great joy and the one we will meet in a few short weeks.
-my amazing parents & in-laws who, call, come, help, pray and love on us.
-my side-kick sisters who have to know "how the night went..." or the symptoms of the day.
-my brothers & wives who faithfully pray and check in regularily.
-my most wonderful friends who care and pray so faithfully.
-phone calls, texts, emails & cards; which are greatly treasured.
Ephesians 1:16
I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.
-the gift of an early diagnosis...
-my friend who is fighting a 11 year battle with cancer & graciously heads to chemo weekly with a smile and the grace of God in her spirit. She has showed me how to depend on God when the "going gets rough."
-great medical care.
-anti-nausea meds...
-the nurses at chemo.
-friends who brought a smile to my chemo treatment.
-minimual side effects for the first go-round.
-the knowledge that chemo works and the improved health on the other side.
-the Word of God;which continues to encourage my heart..."He is my Strong Tower"
-a book of scripture verses from another family battling cancer.
-food on my table in abundance from those who graciously provide.
-a country where we can have freedom to worship our God.
-the sunrise and the color of the leaves.
-the changing of seasons...
-the scent of a burning candle.
-a warm house.
-the smile of baby Hudson.
-the laughter of children.
 |
| a Florida sunset... |
Yes, I could go on and on with the countless things I am thankful for...
but for now, I'm off to rest my head and get well from the head cold & cough that has also taken up residence in my body.
Thanks for taking time to visit me here...
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Day after First Treatment...
These 2 were unable to come;
so their dear mother texted this to me...precious!
Even got a neck roll from a dear one who makes and donates them to chemo patients...and a wonderful massage from my dear mother.
Today is day one; They tell me it gets worse from here for a few days, but I am thankful for EACH good gift from my Heavenly Father. A bit nauseous today and very tired so off to nap I go.
James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
To you, my friends and family who care to read this blog and especially those who take time to pray for me; my most gracious thanks to each one. It is such a blessing to have such wonderful support; I am a blessed woman. God IS good to me!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
First treatment day; Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I awaken early; long before the alarm with the reality that "today's the day"...there's no more putting off or dealing with later...today's the day and in a few short hours, I will be "hooked up" to drugs to kill any cancer in my body. I'm pretty good at putting aside feelings and reality until it's time; Well, its time. and the tears come flowing down. Who ever wants to go thru chemo and its side effects, who wants to be fatigued and nauseous for days after; who wants to loose their hair and have dry skin & a dry mouth with metallic taste...
But for whatever reason, my God has chosen this for me; this time. and the tear begin to flow. Tim awakens to the silence of tears hitting the pillow beside him and holds me tight. another gift; his love & support. We talk to the Lord....
I read thru some of the MANY scriptures that God has used to encourage my heart in recent weeks and again my focus is changed and I am strengthened.
Psalms 62:5-8
Find rest O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock & my salvation.
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation & my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him for God is our Refuge.
I decide that a brisk walk this November morning would be "just what the doctor ordered". After all, they say exercise is good for chemo patients. Its been exactly 2 months to the day since my surgery on Sept 16. I love to speed walk but have not had the strength for months since my surgery. Its been so long since I put on my NB walkers that I am unsure they fit...what a good feeling to get outside while its dark and let the tears flow; no one will see the wadded paper towel that serves so well as a tissue this Wednesday morning. The absorbency works well, when tears are many. I walk past the home of my dear friend; my walking partner that slumbers still and see the soft lights in their family room. A great reminder of the warmth of SO many in our lives that have offered love, care, warmth and many prayers on our behalf. I am blessed beyond measure. Every person should be cared for and and loved as much as I.
I read thru more scriptures on my phone...restoring my mind so focused on the words that I trip on the side walk. Good thing it wasn't an oncoming car,
Isaiah 41:9b,10,13
...you are my servant;
I have chosen you & have not rejected you.
So do not fear; for I AM WITH you.
Do not be dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you & help you.
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
For I am the Lord your God,
Who takes hold of your right hand & says to you;
Do not fear I will help you!
These are the verses I claim for this day; asking God to uphold me with His righteous right hand; filling me with the grace that comes only from Him so that I may be a testimony to every nurse, patient, or technician whom I meet today. May the love of Jesus flow from me like the chemo drugs flow in.
My alarm sounds and I know its time to get on with the day so; back to our haven on Cedar Ave to finish preparing for this day. I must say that most of the preparation happened on my walk; alone with my Saviour where He calms hearts and extends grace for each second of daily life.
Your journey today will likely be much different from mine, but nonetheless God's abundant grace is ENOUGH and He will see us thru; cause He promised...and I'm counting on it...
2 Corinthians 12:8b-9
"My grace is sufficient for YOU;
for my power is made perfect in weakness...
therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses;
so that Christ's power may rest on me."
my good husband is making hot tea and oatmeal (my favorites) for our nourishment; and off to the shower I go holding on the the Righteous Right Hand of my Saviour...
But for whatever reason, my God has chosen this for me; this time. and the tear begin to flow. Tim awakens to the silence of tears hitting the pillow beside him and holds me tight. another gift; his love & support. We talk to the Lord....
I read thru some of the MANY scriptures that God has used to encourage my heart in recent weeks and again my focus is changed and I am strengthened.
Psalms 62:5-8
Find rest O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock & my salvation.
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation & my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him for God is our Refuge.
I decide that a brisk walk this November morning would be "just what the doctor ordered". After all, they say exercise is good for chemo patients. Its been exactly 2 months to the day since my surgery on Sept 16. I love to speed walk but have not had the strength for months since my surgery. Its been so long since I put on my NB walkers that I am unsure they fit...what a good feeling to get outside while its dark and let the tears flow; no one will see the wadded paper towel that serves so well as a tissue this Wednesday morning. The absorbency works well, when tears are many. I walk past the home of my dear friend; my walking partner that slumbers still and see the soft lights in their family room. A great reminder of the warmth of SO many in our lives that have offered love, care, warmth and many prayers on our behalf. I am blessed beyond measure. Every person should be cared for and and loved as much as I.
I read thru more scriptures on my phone...restoring my mind so focused on the words that I trip on the side walk. Good thing it wasn't an oncoming car,
Isaiah 41:9b,10,13
...you are my servant;
I have chosen you & have not rejected you.
So do not fear; for I AM WITH you.
Do not be dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you & help you.
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
For I am the Lord your God,
Who takes hold of your right hand & says to you;
Do not fear I will help you!
These are the verses I claim for this day; asking God to uphold me with His righteous right hand; filling me with the grace that comes only from Him so that I may be a testimony to every nurse, patient, or technician whom I meet today. May the love of Jesus flow from me like the chemo drugs flow in.
My alarm sounds and I know its time to get on with the day so; back to our haven on Cedar Ave to finish preparing for this day. I must say that most of the preparation happened on my walk; alone with my Saviour where He calms hearts and extends grace for each second of daily life.
Your journey today will likely be much different from mine, but nonetheless God's abundant grace is ENOUGH and He will see us thru; cause He promised...and I'm counting on it...
2 Corinthians 12:8b-9
"My grace is sufficient for YOU;
for my power is made perfect in weakness...
therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses;
so that Christ's power may rest on me."
my good husband is making hot tea and oatmeal (my favorites) for our nourishment; and off to the shower I go holding on the the Righteous Right Hand of my Saviour...
Monday, November 14, 2011
Weekend Getaway...OCNJ
The beauty of seeing the ocean and watching the waves roll in and back out again;
is truely one of God's richest blessings to me.
Today I am thankful to Creator God for the way He made the coast of Ocean City, NJ
This picture posted just because it was Tim's favorite...
Yes, we walked the beach and the boardwalk of OCNJ during this beautiful November saturday.
Indeed a blessing to spend this time away with my wonderful husband of 34 years!
What a gift from the Lord to enjoy the sun and hear the waves a few days before I start chemo.
Friday, November 11, 2011
God's kindness; He cares about all things...
It was Monday morning and I wanted an appointment to take my daughters with me to shop for a wig. The dear lady who owns the shop is a breast cancer survivor. She called me back to confirm the appointment for early evening on Monday, November 7.
I hung up the phone and began to cry; another reality...this one of loosing my hair. What will it be like to look in the mirror and see a bald head. Really it hasn't bothered me alot; but this morning making the appointment with Stephanie confirmed a reality and the tears began to flow.
I went to my desk and opened my Bible. God always encourages my heart whenever I am discouraged...
wouldn't you know, I look down and there on the pages of Jeremiah 9:1
as tears rolled down my checks I read...
"Oh that my head were a spring of water;
and my eyes a fountain of tears!"
Once again, it was like God said; I hear your cry over the bald head and see your fountain of tears...
I then turned to Jeremiah 30:17
"...But I will restore you to health, and heal your wounds declares the Lord."
My heart was encouraged in this, God cares how we feel; even when it hurts and He promised to restore us to health. That was just what I needed to rest in Him for this part of the journey.
Isn't God good to me; such a blessing to be His child...
I hung up the phone and began to cry; another reality...this one of loosing my hair. What will it be like to look in the mirror and see a bald head. Really it hasn't bothered me alot; but this morning making the appointment with Stephanie confirmed a reality and the tears began to flow.
I went to my desk and opened my Bible. God always encourages my heart whenever I am discouraged...
wouldn't you know, I look down and there on the pages of Jeremiah 9:1
as tears rolled down my checks I read...
"Oh that my head were a spring of water;
and my eyes a fountain of tears!"
Once again, it was like God said; I hear your cry over the bald head and see your fountain of tears...
I then turned to Jeremiah 30:17
"...But I will restore you to health, and heal your wounds declares the Lord."
My heart was encouraged in this, God cares how we feel; even when it hurts and He promised to restore us to health. That was just what I needed to rest in Him for this part of the journey.
Isn't God good to me; such a blessing to be His child...
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Hair...
Tonight, we had dessert with some friends; another couple who is facing cancer. This dear woman, who I only met about 2 years ago has breast cancer and has received her first chemo treatment about 10 days ago. She looked beautiful tonight AND she still has her hair. She told me that each day, she and her husband thank the Lord for her hair. Guess I had better start being thankful for it; while I have it.
Funny, how the smallest things; things we so often take for granted; become so LARGE, so wonderful as hair on ones head. Especially since for both she and I; we KNOW its inevitable that before the month end we will both likely be bald. Wigs, or hair prothesis have become topics of discussion and yes, sometimes we laugh about it.
Who knows how you will find me in the next month? Maybe I'll have long brown hair or maybe it will still be blonde, maybe a hat; afterall, Winter is coming. Guess, I had better start looking for a wig. But seriously, none of us women wants to be bald, but I know that my Maker has the very hairs of my head numbered. He knows me full well.
Luke 12:7
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
He cares about the things that are important to us, So much so that He even numbered the hairs on my head. Wow, what peace to Know He loves me that much!
I will continue to trust in Him...
Funny, how the smallest things; things we so often take for granted; become so LARGE, so wonderful as hair on ones head. Especially since for both she and I; we KNOW its inevitable that before the month end we will both likely be bald. Wigs, or hair prothesis have become topics of discussion and yes, sometimes we laugh about it.
Who knows how you will find me in the next month? Maybe I'll have long brown hair or maybe it will still be blonde, maybe a hat; afterall, Winter is coming. Guess, I had better start looking for a wig. But seriously, none of us women wants to be bald, but I know that my Maker has the very hairs of my head numbered. He knows me full well.
Luke 12:7
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
He cares about the things that are important to us, So much so that He even numbered the hairs on my head. Wow, what peace to Know He loves me that much!
I will continue to trust in Him...
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Decision made...chemo here we come...
Sometimes God answers prayers in ways we aren't always ready for...
But always with His faithful hand of grace and love.
I was reading tonight in Isaiah 41:10 &13
So, do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you & help you;
I will uphold you with my Righteous right hand...
For I am the Lord your God,
who takes hold of your right hand and says to you;
Do NOT fear for I will help you!
How precious the promises in the Word of God...
What strength for today and hope and Help for tomorrow.
I'm not sure whether the chemo will be administered in my right or left arm, but I KNOW that based on Isaiah 41:13 my Lord God will take hold of my right hand and I WILL Not fear for He will help me.
The report from Penn Medical Pathology Dept. was similar to the Path report from LGH to confirm I have a Stage 2 Ovarian Cancer. Cancer was found in 2 places; the ovary and the cyst against the pelvic wall. Therefore Dr. R from Penn as well as Dr. O (LGH) and my gyno-oncologist all recommend 6 rounds of chemo every 3 weeks. It took some time to get to this decision but God had a plan in the "waiting". I am gaining strength and feeling better each day.
I will have some preliminary blood work and begin chemo on Wednesday, November 16.
Tim & I along with our children are confident in God's leading and are at peace with God's direction in this. God has a definate plan here and He WILL be glorified in this season of my life!
I anticipate God's healing touch on my body as well as regained strength to resume life as normal in the months to come. .
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Visit to U of Penn October 25, 2011
What a beautiful Autumn day God gave us to travel to Philadelphia. The trees along the turnpike were painted with radiant color; another of my "thousand gifts".
If you haven't heard of the book; "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp you might want to secure a copy for yourself as well as a journal for your "thousand gifts". We all have SO much to be thankful for; don't we!!! Its a book I first learned about from our daughter Laura, whose church recommended the women read it. I am enjoying it emensely.
Tim & I had a good visit with Dr. Rubin. U of Penn is a large hospital and we were disappointed to learn that my pathology and slides had arrived there but their pathology department has NOT yet read my slides. This might take another week.
However, Dr. Rubin recommended 6 rounds of chemo for my stage 2 cancer basing his decision on the written pathology report. It doesn't seem like he will change his mind, however we will talk with him again after Penn Pathology reads my info sometime next week.
We were disappoint to say the least to not have a firm answer as to the direction the Lord wants us to take. It has been quite the roller coaster of opinions, some doctors says yes, you must have chemo others saying chemo is not needed.
Obviously, with a disease like ovarian cancer, it is not a decision we want to make quickly. We must KNOW the direction of the Lord specifically for this answer.
SO many good things, my CT scan and mamogram are clear! and an early find of this cancer. God has been SO good to me!
Pray if you would for discernment to KNOW His will and if there are additional steps we need to take for answers. We are content to wait (yet another week) for the report from Penn.
After much time in the Word and prayer last night, Psalms 62:5-8 really ministered to my heart and I was able to once again give the time in this "waiting room" of a roller coaster to my heavenly Father.
Psalms 62;5-8"Find rest O my soul, in God alone,
My hope comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock & my salvation!!
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God (it was that part right there; its not my game; its God's and He can take as long as He plans to let us know the next step)
He is my mighty Rock, my fortress.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your hearts to Him for God is our Refuge..."
Again, its not my game, I'm just the vessel God chose so on we go trusting Him for each day; as His grace is Sufficient, His power is made perfect in weakness...
If you haven't heard of the book; "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp you might want to secure a copy for yourself as well as a journal for your "thousand gifts". We all have SO much to be thankful for; don't we!!! Its a book I first learned about from our daughter Laura, whose church recommended the women read it. I am enjoying it emensely.
Tim & I had a good visit with Dr. Rubin. U of Penn is a large hospital and we were disappointed to learn that my pathology and slides had arrived there but their pathology department has NOT yet read my slides. This might take another week.
However, Dr. Rubin recommended 6 rounds of chemo for my stage 2 cancer basing his decision on the written pathology report. It doesn't seem like he will change his mind, however we will talk with him again after Penn Pathology reads my info sometime next week.
We were disappoint to say the least to not have a firm answer as to the direction the Lord wants us to take. It has been quite the roller coaster of opinions, some doctors says yes, you must have chemo others saying chemo is not needed.
Obviously, with a disease like ovarian cancer, it is not a decision we want to make quickly. We must KNOW the direction of the Lord specifically for this answer.
SO many good things, my CT scan and mamogram are clear! and an early find of this cancer. God has been SO good to me!
Pray if you would for discernment to KNOW His will and if there are additional steps we need to take for answers. We are content to wait (yet another week) for the report from Penn.
After much time in the Word and prayer last night, Psalms 62:5-8 really ministered to my heart and I was able to once again give the time in this "waiting room" of a roller coaster to my heavenly Father.
Psalms 62;5-8"Find rest O my soul, in God alone,
My hope comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock & my salvation!!
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God (it was that part right there; its not my game; its God's and He can take as long as He plans to let us know the next step)
He is my mighty Rock, my fortress.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your hearts to Him for God is our Refuge..."
Again, its not my game, I'm just the vessel God chose so on we go trusting Him for each day; as His grace is Sufficient, His power is made perfect in weakness...
Thursday, October 20, 2011
3rd Opinion Oct 18, 2011
It was our third opinion, this one with a medical oncologist. What a wonderful, kind intelligent doctor he was. His recommendation; no chemo treatment necessary. After some conversation with him, about the other two gynocologic oncologists and the three differing opinions, he wants to send us to University of Penn in Phila for another opinion. He said he rarely ever sends a patient out for another opinion, but he wants to be sure about this. He gave reference, and had his assistant call and make the appt. as well as sending my pathology report and the slides to Penn. It might take several weeks to get in...
God be praised, I have an appointment there on Tuesday, Oct 25. God is continues to heal my body and I am stronger each day.
He continues to encourage me to trust Him one day at a time.
God be praised, I have an appointment there on Tuesday, Oct 25. God is continues to heal my body and I am stronger each day.
He continues to encourage me to trust Him one day at a time.
Oct recovery
I was challenged to look for "One thousand gifts" during this season of life. That has been such a blessing to focus on the many things I have to enjoy & be thankful for.
This sister of mine and the one in OH have been an incrediable support in the most tangiable ways!!
We arrive to our daughter & son-in-law's for family supper and I am informed that its an aqua party.
I look around to see each member of our family wearing aqua or blue in support
of the fight against "ovarian cancer"; my ovarian cancer.
She even made the above cookies for our after dinner treat. What a support our family has been.
I am a blessed woman!
A most delightful way to recover from surgery; snuggling with our newest grandson,
Hudson Jacob Sangrey. Ahh, such joy!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Second Opinion October 13, 2011
Thursday, Oct 13, I met with another Gynocologic Oncologist in Lancaster for a second opinion. She was very forth right and specific to tell us that this cancer is NOT one to watch.
Her recommendation is 6 rounds of chemo and an additional surgery to further bioposy the pelvic area.
She stated that my kind of cancer goes to other places and we can't be sure that there are not some cancer cells still there since the cancer was found in the ovary and the cyst and against the pelvic wall.
We are grateful for her direction. We are looking for some medical guidance to direct our path as we seek the Lord for His wisdom to make decisions regarding treatment.
She was happy to know that I have a third opinion scheduled with a medical oncologist the following week.
She offered support for my nausea as well as scheduling a diagnositic CT scan of my abdomen on Monday Oct 17, 2011
We feel like we are getting some answers to help us make decisions. God be praised.
During these weeks of recovery our children & grandchildren visit often as I miss them all.
Above are the two local granddaughters.
Her recommendation is 6 rounds of chemo and an additional surgery to further bioposy the pelvic area.
She stated that my kind of cancer goes to other places and we can't be sure that there are not some cancer cells still there since the cancer was found in the ovary and the cyst and against the pelvic wall.
We are grateful for her direction. We are looking for some medical guidance to direct our path as we seek the Lord for His wisdom to make decisions regarding treatment.
She was happy to know that I have a third opinion scheduled with a medical oncologist the following week.
She offered support for my nausea as well as scheduling a diagnositic CT scan of my abdomen on Monday Oct 17, 2011
We feel like we are getting some answers to help us make decisions. God be praised.
Above are the two local granddaughters.
Oct Tumor Board
The Tumor Board is a group of 40+ oncologists & pathologists. After their meeting I went back to the Oncologist for another appt. I had been suffering with some extreme nausea and was glad to ask some questions about it. He ordered some blood work and another xray.
From his conclusion of tumor board, his recommendation was chemotherapy was up to us. We could choose to take treatment of not. Cancer could come back either way. Totally up to us. We were frustrated to say the least. What to do with that? Trust the Lord for His direction...
By now, we had also secured an appt. with a noted Medical Oncologist in Lancaster for another opinion. We will see him on Oct. 18.
From his conclusion of tumor board, his recommendation was chemotherapy was up to us. We could choose to take treatment of not. Cancer could come back either way. Totally up to us. We were frustrated to say the least. What to do with that? Trust the Lord for His direction...
By now, we had also secured an appt. with a noted Medical Oncologist in Lancaster for another opinion. We will see him on Oct. 18.
Trip to VA...baptism of our grandchildren
So, I mustered all the strength from the Lord and off we went to VA, Tim made me a bed in the back seat and I traveled well those 5 + hours. God in His mercy gave me strength to leave their house that sunday morning for the church/baptism service for our 12, 13, & 14 year old grandchildren who have given their hearts to the Lord and wanted to display their desire to serve Him. It was a very special service that I sure didn't want to miss.
Much to our surprise, both sets of grandparents on my side and Tim's traveled sunday just for the day to share this special time with us and our precious grandchildren.
What an honor to have them there for this special celebration!
 |
| Our Virginia Family; with Nana & Cousin A |
First visit to the oncologist...September 26, 2011
It was just 10 days post-op and I weakly pulled my body out of bed and into the shower to get ready for my first appointment with an Oncologist. Never dreamed I would need one of those, but God doesn't ask us about such things; He just does what pleases Him (Ps. 115:3) and I can trust in that!!!
Tim came home from work to take me to this appt. Drew attended so graciously to be the "extra pair of ears" The Doc was unsure about the pathology report, so he called my OB and discussed more of the surgery with her while we were there. He was in my surgery and checked me for cancer but said it didn't look like cancer, so he expected a good path report.
After lots of questions, the Oncologist said he would take my pathology and the slides to "Tumor Board" the following week and get an opinion from this group of about 40 oncologists & pathologists.
My Pathology report said it was a grade 1 Stage 2 Ovarian Cancer. But he had some questions.
We would wait another 9 days for more definate answers regarding treatment, etc. I was content to take one day at a time. God gave me verses like...
Psalms 112:7
He will have NO fear of bad news...for his heart is steadfast; trusting in the Lord!
Psalms 34:7
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him...
Oh what peace these brought to my heart.
Tim came home from work to take me to this appt. Drew attended so graciously to be the "extra pair of ears" The Doc was unsure about the pathology report, so he called my OB and discussed more of the surgery with her while we were there. He was in my surgery and checked me for cancer but said it didn't look like cancer, so he expected a good path report.
After lots of questions, the Oncologist said he would take my pathology and the slides to "Tumor Board" the following week and get an opinion from this group of about 40 oncologists & pathologists.
My Pathology report said it was a grade 1 Stage 2 Ovarian Cancer. But he had some questions.
We would wait another 9 days for more definate answers regarding treatment, etc. I was content to take one day at a time. God gave me verses like...
Psalms 112:7
He will have NO fear of bad news...for his heart is steadfast; trusting in the Lord!
Psalms 34:7
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him...
Oh what peace these brought to my heart.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
The Word is my Strong Tower....week one
What to do with this news and the change in my life...
What will it all look like; what will the oncologist say?
What is cancer anyway?
We/I don't know medical stuff, no one in our families has dealt with cancer in the last 25 years (with the exception of mild prostate cancer surgery).
Indeed the Word promises and it is...
Proverbs 18:10
"The Word of the Lord is a strong tower...the righteous run to it and are safe."
When I felt uncertain about it all, I opened my big NIV Bible and found such encouragement in the Psalms...
verses like 18:1-3
I love you, O Lord, My Strength;
The Lord is my Rock, My Fortress & My Deliverer.
My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield & the horn of my salvation.
I call to the Lord who is worthy of praise...
My Deliverer, My Fortress....what strength in such promises.
Why would I fear such a diagnosis as ovarian cancer?
God is in control of my life, He holds it in His hands, I WILL trust in Him!!!
With promises like this, God took the fear away and I began to trust Him for one day at a time...just one day at a time...
afterall, He promised that His grace was sufficient
2 Corinthans 12:8
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"
I will learn to trust in His sufficient grace...
What will it all look like; what will the oncologist say?
What is cancer anyway?
We/I don't know medical stuff, no one in our families has dealt with cancer in the last 25 years (with the exception of mild prostate cancer surgery).
Indeed the Word promises and it is...
Proverbs 18:10
"The Word of the Lord is a strong tower...the righteous run to it and are safe."
When I felt uncertain about it all, I opened my big NIV Bible and found such encouragement in the Psalms...
verses like 18:1-3
I love you, O Lord, My Strength;
The Lord is my Rock, My Fortress & My Deliverer.
My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield & the horn of my salvation.
I call to the Lord who is worthy of praise...
My Deliverer, My Fortress....what strength in such promises.
Why would I fear such a diagnosis as ovarian cancer?
God is in control of my life, He holds it in His hands, I WILL trust in Him!!!
With promises like this, God took the fear away and I began to trust Him for one day at a time...just one day at a time...
afterall, He promised that His grace was sufficient
2 Corinthans 12:8
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"
I will learn to trust in His sufficient grace...
Ovarian Cancer; Are you sure, I heard you correctly???
Tuesday afternoon, my sister & daughter were here visiting & caring for me when I recieved a call from my OB/surgeon. I thought she was just calling to check up on my recovery. Never once did I think about the pathology yet, it wasn't wednesday.
Much to my surprise, Dr. May informed me that pathology showed ovarian cancer; inside the ovary and ourside against the pelvic wall. Thru the tears, I asked God for strength to wrap my mind around such news. About 2 hours later Tim came home from work and I had to break this sad news to him, but God be praised, we were in the privacy of our own home and had time to deal with feelings and questions together. Our children all came to share the evening meal that night, so we could all hear together the doctors report and process this change of course in our lives together. Prior to their coming, we called our Virginia daughter, husband & family to share with them & cry together.
These were difficult conversations, but it didn't take long for me to realize that God had a plan in all of this, for HIS glory and I was gonna fight this one in His Name. We cried together, prayed together and joined together for whatever God has planned for me. I felt such love & support from each of them. Everyone should be as loved as I am. I held our newest grandson and asked the children to text a picture to Laura in VA of us; saying I'm gonna fight this and watch Hudson and the one due in December grow up!!!
The next day, my surgeon called again, this time with the written pathology report to confirm a stage 2 ovarian cancer and an appointment for me with a gynocologic oncologist for the following Monday, Sept 26. All this was moving so fast. I know my strength will have to come from God and His Word.
Much to my surprise, Dr. May informed me that pathology showed ovarian cancer; inside the ovary and ourside against the pelvic wall. Thru the tears, I asked God for strength to wrap my mind around such news. About 2 hours later Tim came home from work and I had to break this sad news to him, but God be praised, we were in the privacy of our own home and had time to deal with feelings and questions together. Our children all came to share the evening meal that night, so we could all hear together the doctors report and process this change of course in our lives together. Prior to their coming, we called our Virginia daughter, husband & family to share with them & cry together.
These were difficult conversations, but it didn't take long for me to realize that God had a plan in all of this, for HIS glory and I was gonna fight this one in His Name. We cried together, prayed together and joined together for whatever God has planned for me. I felt such love & support from each of them. Everyone should be as loved as I am. I held our newest grandson and asked the children to text a picture to Laura in VA of us; saying I'm gonna fight this and watch Hudson and the one due in December grow up!!!
The next day, my surgeon called again, this time with the written pathology report to confirm a stage 2 ovarian cancer and an appointment for me with a gynocologic oncologist for the following Monday, Sept 26. All this was moving so fast. I know my strength will have to come from God and His Word.
Surgery Day; September 16, 2011
Surgery Day came and Tim took me to Womens & Babies Hospital where he waited with my folks, my dear sister, Melissa and our daughter Tara & her new baby, Hudson, only 9 days old.
If I had one fear in all of this, worse than the fear that I had cancer; was the fear that they would find cancer; come out and tell Tim (& our children) while I was still under and we would have to deal with such news seperately; instead of together as a couple or family. God is SO good to me; He even answered that prayer before I asked Him specifically for it.
My last memory before I went under was that of Psalms 23 as I recited it in my memory; Knowing full well that God was present in that surgery room and that He holds ALL things in His hands.
Dr. May found that the cyst/mass that she saw with the scope was much larger than she expected, so she called in the oncologist and went ahead to do the hysterectomy.
They did a frozen section and it tested begnign. The oncologist told Tim & Tara that he did not see and cancer but that all specimens would be sent to pathology and we would get a report probably by wednesday.
I awoke to the knowledge of a full hysterectomy. AND the good news that they didn't think there was any cancer. I was able to focus on getting awake and recovering.
I was in the hospital until Monday evening, September 19, when Tim brought me home and lovingly cared for me here. It's a slow recovery but I God was beginning the healing process in my body.
If I had one fear in all of this, worse than the fear that I had cancer; was the fear that they would find cancer; come out and tell Tim (& our children) while I was still under and we would have to deal with such news seperately; instead of together as a couple or family. God is SO good to me; He even answered that prayer before I asked Him specifically for it.
My last memory before I went under was that of Psalms 23 as I recited it in my memory; Knowing full well that God was present in that surgery room and that He holds ALL things in His hands.
Dr. May found that the cyst/mass that she saw with the scope was much larger than she expected, so she called in the oncologist and went ahead to do the hysterectomy.
They did a frozen section and it tested begnign. The oncologist told Tim & Tara that he did not see and cancer but that all specimens would be sent to pathology and we would get a report probably by wednesday.
I awoke to the knowledge of a full hysterectomy. AND the good news that they didn't think there was any cancer. I was able to focus on getting awake and recovering.
I was in the hospital until Monday evening, September 19, when Tim brought me home and lovingly cared for me here. It's a slow recovery but I God was beginning the healing process in my body.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
September 2011
I spent the next week preparing a bit for surgery, but mostly helping Tara get adjusted to their third child. What joy to spend time with their family amid my own work schedule.
During this time, I ask the Lord for direction concerning my upcoming surgery. KNOWING He knows all things. He gave me a verse in Psalms 115
and the ability to trust HIM with whatever happened or was found.
I was not afraid of cancer. But confidant in the ONE who made me.
Ps 115;1-3
Not to us, O Lord, not to us,
But to your name be the glory,
because of your love & faithfulness.
Why do the nations say, "where is their God?"
Our God is in heaven, He does whatever pleases Him.
The part about He does whatever pleases Him was of great comfort to me. Knowing that He would only bring what pleases Him into my life. I knew I could trust Him with this surgery & the outcome.
During this time, I ask the Lord for direction concerning my upcoming surgery. KNOWING He knows all things. He gave me a verse in Psalms 115
and the ability to trust HIM with whatever happened or was found.
I was not afraid of cancer. But confidant in the ONE who made me.
Ps 115;1-3
Not to us, O Lord, not to us,
But to your name be the glory,
because of your love & faithfulness.
Why do the nations say, "where is their God?"
Our God is in heaven, He does whatever pleases Him.
The part about He does whatever pleases Him was of great comfort to me. Knowing that He would only bring what pleases Him into my life. I knew I could trust Him with this surgery & the outcome.
It's a BOY
I had an appt to see my OB regarding the cyst. The Doctor recommended I have surgery to remove the cyst since my CA125 blood levels were elevated. She wanted to schedule for the following Friday, Sept 16. At the same time our oldest daughter & son-in-law was being induced to give birth to their third child. I wanted to wait for the birth of the baby, to be sure, Tara was back on her feet before I went into surgery.
Praise the Lord, at 1045pm that night, Hudson Jacob was born to Andrew & Tara. A beautiful Healthy baby boy to join our family. We were all thrilled and rejoiced in God's goodness to them.
My surgery was later scheduled for Friday, Sept 16, with hopes of removing the cyst by laparascopy. Dr. May informed me that she would have an oncologist on hand to do a "frozen section" bioposy of the cyst. If cancer was found, she needed to do a hysterectomy immediately to remove any cancer and check the nearby pelvic areas for any cancer.
August 31, 2011
I had a pelvic & abdominal ultrasound; which showed a large cyst on my right ovary. My family Doctor called and asked me to schedule an appt with my OB.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Summer 2011
August 27, 2011
I met with Dr. Marisa; a nutrionalist, about my discomfort in my stomach, etc. The same day I saw my Family Doctor who ordered some tests, including a pelvic/abdominal ultrasound. Dr. Marisa put me on some supplements to aid in digestion and energy.
August 13-20, 2011
...Hiking Skyline Trail with Cabot Trail in the background. A most beautiful site!
Tim & I spent a week of vacation in Cape Breton , Nova Scotia
July 2011
I began sometime this summer to not feel well; especially after I had eaten.
Felt bloated or just full. My stomach just felt better if I didn’t eat much at all. Wasn’t quite sure why or what, but just didn’t feel well. I began to wonder if I had a stomach ulcer.
Late July my dear dad had a quad heart bypass surgery and I was quite busy caring for him & my mother as he recovered. I could have cared less how I felt myself as I was concerned about his health and thankful to the Lord that they found the 99% artery block of his main artery before he had a heart attack. He is doing quite well now, and has returned to most of his normal activities.
My family began to ask me to see a doctor; and I promised that I would consult with my family doctor as soon as possible.
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