What a beautiful Autumn day God gave us to travel to Philadelphia. The trees along the turnpike were painted with radiant color; another of my "thousand gifts".
If you haven't heard of the book; "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp you might want to secure a copy for yourself as well as a journal for your "thousand gifts". We all have SO much to be thankful for; don't we!!! Its a book I first learned about from our daughter Laura, whose church recommended the women read it. I am enjoying it emensely.
Tim & I had a good visit with Dr. Rubin. U of Penn is a large hospital and we were disappointed to learn that my pathology and slides had arrived there but their pathology department has NOT yet read my slides. This might take another week.
However, Dr. Rubin recommended 6 rounds of chemo for my stage 2 cancer basing his decision on the written pathology report. It doesn't seem like he will change his mind, however we will talk with him again after Penn Pathology reads my info sometime next week.
We were disappoint to say the least to not have a firm answer as to the direction the Lord wants us to take. It has been quite the roller coaster of opinions, some doctors says yes, you must have chemo others saying chemo is not needed.
Obviously, with a disease like ovarian cancer, it is not a decision we want to make quickly. We must KNOW the direction of the Lord specifically for this answer.
SO many good things, my CT scan and mamogram are clear! and an early find of this cancer. God has been SO good to me!
Pray if you would for discernment to KNOW His will and if there are additional steps we need to take for answers. We are content to wait (yet another week) for the report from Penn.
After much time in the Word and prayer last night, Psalms 62:5-8 really ministered to my heart and I was able to once again give the time in this "waiting room" of a roller coaster to my heavenly Father.
Psalms 62;5-8"Find rest O my soul, in God alone,
My hope comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock & my salvation!!
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God (it was that part right there; its not my game; its God's and He can take as long as He plans to let us know the next step)
He is my mighty Rock, my fortress.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your hearts to Him for God is our Refuge..."
Again, its not my game, I'm just the vessel God chose so on we go trusting Him for each day; as His grace is Sufficient, His power is made perfect in weakness...
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
3rd Opinion Oct 18, 2011
It was our third opinion, this one with a medical oncologist. What a wonderful, kind intelligent doctor he was. His recommendation; no chemo treatment necessary. After some conversation with him, about the other two gynocologic oncologists and the three differing opinions, he wants to send us to University of Penn in Phila for another opinion. He said he rarely ever sends a patient out for another opinion, but he wants to be sure about this. He gave reference, and had his assistant call and make the appt. as well as sending my pathology report and the slides to Penn. It might take several weeks to get in...
God be praised, I have an appointment there on Tuesday, Oct 25. God is continues to heal my body and I am stronger each day.
He continues to encourage me to trust Him one day at a time.
God be praised, I have an appointment there on Tuesday, Oct 25. God is continues to heal my body and I am stronger each day.
He continues to encourage me to trust Him one day at a time.
Oct recovery
I was challenged to look for "One thousand gifts" during this season of life. That has been such a blessing to focus on the many things I have to enjoy & be thankful for.
This sister of mine and the one in OH have been an incrediable support in the most tangiable ways!!
We arrive to our daughter & son-in-law's for family supper and I am informed that its an aqua party.
I look around to see each member of our family wearing aqua or blue in support
of the fight against "ovarian cancer"; my ovarian cancer.
She even made the above cookies for our after dinner treat. What a support our family has been.
I am a blessed woman!
A most delightful way to recover from surgery; snuggling with our newest grandson,
Hudson Jacob Sangrey. Ahh, such joy!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Second Opinion October 13, 2011
Thursday, Oct 13, I met with another Gynocologic Oncologist in Lancaster for a second opinion. She was very forth right and specific to tell us that this cancer is NOT one to watch.
Her recommendation is 6 rounds of chemo and an additional surgery to further bioposy the pelvic area.
She stated that my kind of cancer goes to other places and we can't be sure that there are not some cancer cells still there since the cancer was found in the ovary and the cyst and against the pelvic wall.
We are grateful for her direction. We are looking for some medical guidance to direct our path as we seek the Lord for His wisdom to make decisions regarding treatment.
She was happy to know that I have a third opinion scheduled with a medical oncologist the following week.
She offered support for my nausea as well as scheduling a diagnositic CT scan of my abdomen on Monday Oct 17, 2011
We feel like we are getting some answers to help us make decisions. God be praised.
During these weeks of recovery our children & grandchildren visit often as I miss them all.
Above are the two local granddaughters.
Her recommendation is 6 rounds of chemo and an additional surgery to further bioposy the pelvic area.
She stated that my kind of cancer goes to other places and we can't be sure that there are not some cancer cells still there since the cancer was found in the ovary and the cyst and against the pelvic wall.
We are grateful for her direction. We are looking for some medical guidance to direct our path as we seek the Lord for His wisdom to make decisions regarding treatment.
She was happy to know that I have a third opinion scheduled with a medical oncologist the following week.
She offered support for my nausea as well as scheduling a diagnositic CT scan of my abdomen on Monday Oct 17, 2011
We feel like we are getting some answers to help us make decisions. God be praised.
Above are the two local granddaughters.
Oct Tumor Board
The Tumor Board is a group of 40+ oncologists & pathologists. After their meeting I went back to the Oncologist for another appt. I had been suffering with some extreme nausea and was glad to ask some questions about it. He ordered some blood work and another xray.
From his conclusion of tumor board, his recommendation was chemotherapy was up to us. We could choose to take treatment of not. Cancer could come back either way. Totally up to us. We were frustrated to say the least. What to do with that? Trust the Lord for His direction...
By now, we had also secured an appt. with a noted Medical Oncologist in Lancaster for another opinion. We will see him on Oct. 18.
From his conclusion of tumor board, his recommendation was chemotherapy was up to us. We could choose to take treatment of not. Cancer could come back either way. Totally up to us. We were frustrated to say the least. What to do with that? Trust the Lord for His direction...
By now, we had also secured an appt. with a noted Medical Oncologist in Lancaster for another opinion. We will see him on Oct. 18.
Trip to VA...baptism of our grandchildren
So, I mustered all the strength from the Lord and off we went to VA, Tim made me a bed in the back seat and I traveled well those 5 + hours. God in His mercy gave me strength to leave their house that sunday morning for the church/baptism service for our 12, 13, & 14 year old grandchildren who have given their hearts to the Lord and wanted to display their desire to serve Him. It was a very special service that I sure didn't want to miss.
Much to our surprise, both sets of grandparents on my side and Tim's traveled sunday just for the day to share this special time with us and our precious grandchildren.
What an honor to have them there for this special celebration!
 |
| Our Virginia Family; with Nana & Cousin A |
First visit to the oncologist...September 26, 2011
It was just 10 days post-op and I weakly pulled my body out of bed and into the shower to get ready for my first appointment with an Oncologist. Never dreamed I would need one of those, but God doesn't ask us about such things; He just does what pleases Him (Ps. 115:3) and I can trust in that!!!
Tim came home from work to take me to this appt. Drew attended so graciously to be the "extra pair of ears" The Doc was unsure about the pathology report, so he called my OB and discussed more of the surgery with her while we were there. He was in my surgery and checked me for cancer but said it didn't look like cancer, so he expected a good path report.
After lots of questions, the Oncologist said he would take my pathology and the slides to "Tumor Board" the following week and get an opinion from this group of about 40 oncologists & pathologists.
My Pathology report said it was a grade 1 Stage 2 Ovarian Cancer. But he had some questions.
We would wait another 9 days for more definate answers regarding treatment, etc. I was content to take one day at a time. God gave me verses like...
Psalms 112:7
He will have NO fear of bad news...for his heart is steadfast; trusting in the Lord!
Psalms 34:7
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him...
Oh what peace these brought to my heart.
Tim came home from work to take me to this appt. Drew attended so graciously to be the "extra pair of ears" The Doc was unsure about the pathology report, so he called my OB and discussed more of the surgery with her while we were there. He was in my surgery and checked me for cancer but said it didn't look like cancer, so he expected a good path report.
After lots of questions, the Oncologist said he would take my pathology and the slides to "Tumor Board" the following week and get an opinion from this group of about 40 oncologists & pathologists.
My Pathology report said it was a grade 1 Stage 2 Ovarian Cancer. But he had some questions.
We would wait another 9 days for more definate answers regarding treatment, etc. I was content to take one day at a time. God gave me verses like...
Psalms 112:7
He will have NO fear of bad news...for his heart is steadfast; trusting in the Lord!
Psalms 34:7
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him...
Oh what peace these brought to my heart.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
The Word is my Strong Tower....week one
What to do with this news and the change in my life...
What will it all look like; what will the oncologist say?
What is cancer anyway?
We/I don't know medical stuff, no one in our families has dealt with cancer in the last 25 years (with the exception of mild prostate cancer surgery).
Indeed the Word promises and it is...
Proverbs 18:10
"The Word of the Lord is a strong tower...the righteous run to it and are safe."
When I felt uncertain about it all, I opened my big NIV Bible and found such encouragement in the Psalms...
verses like 18:1-3
I love you, O Lord, My Strength;
The Lord is my Rock, My Fortress & My Deliverer.
My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield & the horn of my salvation.
I call to the Lord who is worthy of praise...
My Deliverer, My Fortress....what strength in such promises.
Why would I fear such a diagnosis as ovarian cancer?
God is in control of my life, He holds it in His hands, I WILL trust in Him!!!
With promises like this, God took the fear away and I began to trust Him for one day at a time...just one day at a time...
afterall, He promised that His grace was sufficient
2 Corinthans 12:8
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"
I will learn to trust in His sufficient grace...
What will it all look like; what will the oncologist say?
What is cancer anyway?
We/I don't know medical stuff, no one in our families has dealt with cancer in the last 25 years (with the exception of mild prostate cancer surgery).
Indeed the Word promises and it is...
Proverbs 18:10
"The Word of the Lord is a strong tower...the righteous run to it and are safe."
When I felt uncertain about it all, I opened my big NIV Bible and found such encouragement in the Psalms...
verses like 18:1-3
I love you, O Lord, My Strength;
The Lord is my Rock, My Fortress & My Deliverer.
My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield & the horn of my salvation.
I call to the Lord who is worthy of praise...
My Deliverer, My Fortress....what strength in such promises.
Why would I fear such a diagnosis as ovarian cancer?
God is in control of my life, He holds it in His hands, I WILL trust in Him!!!
With promises like this, God took the fear away and I began to trust Him for one day at a time...just one day at a time...
afterall, He promised that His grace was sufficient
2 Corinthans 12:8
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"
I will learn to trust in His sufficient grace...
Ovarian Cancer; Are you sure, I heard you correctly???
Tuesday afternoon, my sister & daughter were here visiting & caring for me when I recieved a call from my OB/surgeon. I thought she was just calling to check up on my recovery. Never once did I think about the pathology yet, it wasn't wednesday.
Much to my surprise, Dr. May informed me that pathology showed ovarian cancer; inside the ovary and ourside against the pelvic wall. Thru the tears, I asked God for strength to wrap my mind around such news. About 2 hours later Tim came home from work and I had to break this sad news to him, but God be praised, we were in the privacy of our own home and had time to deal with feelings and questions together. Our children all came to share the evening meal that night, so we could all hear together the doctors report and process this change of course in our lives together. Prior to their coming, we called our Virginia daughter, husband & family to share with them & cry together.
These were difficult conversations, but it didn't take long for me to realize that God had a plan in all of this, for HIS glory and I was gonna fight this one in His Name. We cried together, prayed together and joined together for whatever God has planned for me. I felt such love & support from each of them. Everyone should be as loved as I am. I held our newest grandson and asked the children to text a picture to Laura in VA of us; saying I'm gonna fight this and watch Hudson and the one due in December grow up!!!
The next day, my surgeon called again, this time with the written pathology report to confirm a stage 2 ovarian cancer and an appointment for me with a gynocologic oncologist for the following Monday, Sept 26. All this was moving so fast. I know my strength will have to come from God and His Word.
Much to my surprise, Dr. May informed me that pathology showed ovarian cancer; inside the ovary and ourside against the pelvic wall. Thru the tears, I asked God for strength to wrap my mind around such news. About 2 hours later Tim came home from work and I had to break this sad news to him, but God be praised, we were in the privacy of our own home and had time to deal with feelings and questions together. Our children all came to share the evening meal that night, so we could all hear together the doctors report and process this change of course in our lives together. Prior to their coming, we called our Virginia daughter, husband & family to share with them & cry together.
These were difficult conversations, but it didn't take long for me to realize that God had a plan in all of this, for HIS glory and I was gonna fight this one in His Name. We cried together, prayed together and joined together for whatever God has planned for me. I felt such love & support from each of them. Everyone should be as loved as I am. I held our newest grandson and asked the children to text a picture to Laura in VA of us; saying I'm gonna fight this and watch Hudson and the one due in December grow up!!!
The next day, my surgeon called again, this time with the written pathology report to confirm a stage 2 ovarian cancer and an appointment for me with a gynocologic oncologist for the following Monday, Sept 26. All this was moving so fast. I know my strength will have to come from God and His Word.
Surgery Day; September 16, 2011
Surgery Day came and Tim took me to Womens & Babies Hospital where he waited with my folks, my dear sister, Melissa and our daughter Tara & her new baby, Hudson, only 9 days old.
If I had one fear in all of this, worse than the fear that I had cancer; was the fear that they would find cancer; come out and tell Tim (& our children) while I was still under and we would have to deal with such news seperately; instead of together as a couple or family. God is SO good to me; He even answered that prayer before I asked Him specifically for it.
My last memory before I went under was that of Psalms 23 as I recited it in my memory; Knowing full well that God was present in that surgery room and that He holds ALL things in His hands.
Dr. May found that the cyst/mass that she saw with the scope was much larger than she expected, so she called in the oncologist and went ahead to do the hysterectomy.
They did a frozen section and it tested begnign. The oncologist told Tim & Tara that he did not see and cancer but that all specimens would be sent to pathology and we would get a report probably by wednesday.
I awoke to the knowledge of a full hysterectomy. AND the good news that they didn't think there was any cancer. I was able to focus on getting awake and recovering.
I was in the hospital until Monday evening, September 19, when Tim brought me home and lovingly cared for me here. It's a slow recovery but I God was beginning the healing process in my body.
If I had one fear in all of this, worse than the fear that I had cancer; was the fear that they would find cancer; come out and tell Tim (& our children) while I was still under and we would have to deal with such news seperately; instead of together as a couple or family. God is SO good to me; He even answered that prayer before I asked Him specifically for it.
My last memory before I went under was that of Psalms 23 as I recited it in my memory; Knowing full well that God was present in that surgery room and that He holds ALL things in His hands.
Dr. May found that the cyst/mass that she saw with the scope was much larger than she expected, so she called in the oncologist and went ahead to do the hysterectomy.
They did a frozen section and it tested begnign. The oncologist told Tim & Tara that he did not see and cancer but that all specimens would be sent to pathology and we would get a report probably by wednesday.
I awoke to the knowledge of a full hysterectomy. AND the good news that they didn't think there was any cancer. I was able to focus on getting awake and recovering.
I was in the hospital until Monday evening, September 19, when Tim brought me home and lovingly cared for me here. It's a slow recovery but I God was beginning the healing process in my body.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
September 2011
I spent the next week preparing a bit for surgery, but mostly helping Tara get adjusted to their third child. What joy to spend time with their family amid my own work schedule.
During this time, I ask the Lord for direction concerning my upcoming surgery. KNOWING He knows all things. He gave me a verse in Psalms 115
and the ability to trust HIM with whatever happened or was found.
I was not afraid of cancer. But confidant in the ONE who made me.
Ps 115;1-3
Not to us, O Lord, not to us,
But to your name be the glory,
because of your love & faithfulness.
Why do the nations say, "where is their God?"
Our God is in heaven, He does whatever pleases Him.
The part about He does whatever pleases Him was of great comfort to me. Knowing that He would only bring what pleases Him into my life. I knew I could trust Him with this surgery & the outcome.
During this time, I ask the Lord for direction concerning my upcoming surgery. KNOWING He knows all things. He gave me a verse in Psalms 115
and the ability to trust HIM with whatever happened or was found.
I was not afraid of cancer. But confidant in the ONE who made me.
Ps 115;1-3
Not to us, O Lord, not to us,
But to your name be the glory,
because of your love & faithfulness.
Why do the nations say, "where is their God?"
Our God is in heaven, He does whatever pleases Him.
The part about He does whatever pleases Him was of great comfort to me. Knowing that He would only bring what pleases Him into my life. I knew I could trust Him with this surgery & the outcome.
It's a BOY
I had an appt to see my OB regarding the cyst. The Doctor recommended I have surgery to remove the cyst since my CA125 blood levels were elevated. She wanted to schedule for the following Friday, Sept 16. At the same time our oldest daughter & son-in-law was being induced to give birth to their third child. I wanted to wait for the birth of the baby, to be sure, Tara was back on her feet before I went into surgery.
Praise the Lord, at 1045pm that night, Hudson Jacob was born to Andrew & Tara. A beautiful Healthy baby boy to join our family. We were all thrilled and rejoiced in God's goodness to them.
My surgery was later scheduled for Friday, Sept 16, with hopes of removing the cyst by laparascopy. Dr. May informed me that she would have an oncologist on hand to do a "frozen section" bioposy of the cyst. If cancer was found, she needed to do a hysterectomy immediately to remove any cancer and check the nearby pelvic areas for any cancer.
August 31, 2011
I had a pelvic & abdominal ultrasound; which showed a large cyst on my right ovary. My family Doctor called and asked me to schedule an appt with my OB.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Summer 2011
August 27, 2011
I met with Dr. Marisa; a nutrionalist, about my discomfort in my stomach, etc. The same day I saw my Family Doctor who ordered some tests, including a pelvic/abdominal ultrasound. Dr. Marisa put me on some supplements to aid in digestion and energy.
August 13-20, 2011
...Hiking Skyline Trail with Cabot Trail in the background. A most beautiful site!
Tim & I spent a week of vacation in Cape Breton , Nova Scotia
July 2011
I began sometime this summer to not feel well; especially after I had eaten.
Felt bloated or just full. My stomach just felt better if I didn’t eat much at all. Wasn’t quite sure why or what, but just didn’t feel well. I began to wonder if I had a stomach ulcer.
Late July my dear dad had a quad heart bypass surgery and I was quite busy caring for him & my mother as he recovered. I could have cared less how I felt myself as I was concerned about his health and thankful to the Lord that they found the 99% artery block of his main artery before he had a heart attack. He is doing quite well now, and has returned to most of his normal activities.
My family began to ask me to see a doctor; and I promised that I would consult with my family doctor as soon as possible.
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